Monday, October 28, 2013

Lesson from the leaves

I SO hate to admit this.  But I think there is some value as a lesson here.

The other day I was confessing something to my wife and I wasn't entirely honest.  I left out a vital part of the story.  In other words....I lied to her.  I won't go into the details, but, suffice it to say that I gave her what I thought to be the basis of the facts, but changed the rest.  I think I was just trying to placate her.  BIG mistake!

She left to go and do a job, and I was left to stew in what I had done.  I felt terrible!  I want to be open and honest!  I NEED to be open and honest!  I felt very unsettled...guilty...convicted!

I was outside blowing leaves.  The wind was sporadic, and every now and then it would come from in front of me and blow the leaves back at me and behind me.  God spoke to me through that.  He made me think of what I'd done.  Just like blowing the leaves over the stone wall to get them out of the driveway and yard, I had told Cheryl a little piece of the truth, to try and please her.  But, just like the wind blowing them back and behind me, my purposeful omittance of the whole truth was causing an unseen mess.  It caused a chink in the armor that makes a weak spot.  It caused a separation.  It caused an anxiety.  I thought I was doing ok by blowing those leaves, but I couldn't keep up with them as they were coming right back in my face!  Just like my lie was coming right back on me.

Later, when she got home, we sat down to talk, and I came clean.  It turned out that the part I left out was worse than what I had originally told her.  It hurt her pretty bad.  It chipped away a little trust.  It was awful to tell her.  It wasn't pretty at all.  But, you know what?  I definately did the right thing.  There will be times in our marriage and, perhaps, yours' too, when it's not easy to be open and honest.  Oh well!  It's the way that God wants it.  He gives us a perfect model of what marriage should look like, and there is no place in that model for lies, deceit, or molding the truth to fit our needs. 

From now on I will be doing this thing the right way!  That way I won't have anything to be worried about sharing with her!  I just need to put it in God's hands and do it His way, putting Him first, then Cheryl, the way it's supposed to be.  Then....all will be well!  Sounds so simple!  And, in reality, it truly is!

I hope I didn't burst anybody's bubble of me.  I know how you all thought I was this perfect husband!  (Yeah, right!)  Well, I'm not sure there is one out there anywhere, but, we all need to strive to be just that!  Matthew 19:26 "....with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." 
Never EVER doubt your God.