Lesson from the leaves

I SO hate to admit this.  But I think there is some value as a lesson here.

The other day I was confessing something to my wife and I wasn't entirely honest.  I left out a vital part of the story.  In other words....I lied to her.  I won't go into the details, but, suffice it to say that I gave her what I thought to be the basis of the facts, but changed the rest.  I think I was just trying to placate her.  BIG mistake!

She left to go and do a job, and I was left to stew in what I had done.  I felt terrible!  I want to be open and honest!  I NEED to be open and honest!  I felt very unsettled...guilty...convicted!

I was outside blowing leaves.  The wind was sporadic, and every now and then it would come from in front of me and blow the leaves back at me and behind me.  God spoke to me through that.  He made me think of what I'd done.  Just like blowing the leaves over the stone wall to get them out of the driveway and yard, I had told Cheryl a little piece of the truth, to try and please her.  But, just like the wind blowing them back and behind me, my purposeful omittance of the whole truth was causing an unseen mess.  It caused a chink in the armor that makes a weak spot.  It caused a separation.  It caused an anxiety.  I thought I was doing ok by blowing those leaves, but I couldn't keep up with them as they were coming right back in my face!  Just like my lie was coming right back on me.

Later, when she got home, we sat down to talk, and I came clean.  It turned out that the part I left out was worse than what I had originally told her.  It hurt her pretty bad.  It chipped away a little trust.  It was awful to tell her.  It wasn't pretty at all.  But, you know what?  I definately did the right thing.  There will be times in our marriage and, perhaps, yours' too, when it's not easy to be open and honest.  Oh well!  It's the way that God wants it.  He gives us a perfect model of what marriage should look like, and there is no place in that model for lies, deceit, or molding the truth to fit our needs. 

From now on I will be doing this thing the right way!  That way I won't have anything to be worried about sharing with her!  I just need to put it in God's hands and do it His way, putting Him first, then Cheryl, the way it's supposed to be.  Then....all will be well!  Sounds so simple!  And, in reality, it truly is!

I hope I didn't burst anybody's bubble of me.  I know how you all thought I was this perfect husband!  (Yeah, right!)  Well, I'm not sure there is one out there anywhere, but, we all need to strive to be just that!  Matthew 19:26 "....with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." 
Never EVER doubt your God.

...and the story spreads.

We were asked by someone involved in our church to start some type of group.  Either  a Sunday school class, or bible study group, or whatever.  So, this Sunday begins our group in our home.  Every other Sunday evening for a couple hours.

To kick it off, at church on Sunday morning we will share a video that Matthew West put out where he talks about our story, the song it inspired, and it also includes clips of me talking about it too!  It was shot when we met him at the Storytellers Weekend he invited us to in Nashville last year.  He performs our song acoustically on the video also!

It's pretty powerful, and I expect there will be lots of people welling up with tears (as I know I will be!).  I liked the way they shot and edited it.  There are clips of me just focusing on my face and you can see how the story affects me by my expressions.  I have a hard time telling this story without breaking down at one spot or another.

So, I hope this has an effect on many people in the congregation.  It's real. It's raw.  It's transparent.  There is a message that needs to get out there so people know that restoration is possible!  And/or that the problems can be faced and overcome!  God touched our lives in such a way, and we need to share that so others' lives can be touched and changed as well!

Once I figure out how....I'll post the video on here so you can all see it for yourselves.
☮ ♥

Is it really that simple?

Cheryl and I know how important it is to get our story out there, so people can hear it and know that there is hope in seemingly hopeless situations.  God has shown us how useful it can be, and how people really want and need to hear it! 

So, we've been searching, and praying for it to be clear how to go about this.  A website?  A support group?  A bible study group?  Sunday school?  Some type of ministry?  We're just not sure.

The other night  I was sharing this with a friend, and he made a simple statement that very well may be true.  He said something to the effect of waiting for God to bring people to us.  Sharing where and when we can, like we've been doing, and just allowing God to urge people to ask, to come forward, to seek us out.  As you are probably aware, this has already been happening.  We've spoken to several people, and continue to!

Could it be that simple?  Could we already be involved in the ministry we've been searching for?  Could this be the way that we're supposed to be used? 

We already know that the song is out there, and who knows how many lives that has touched!  It could be changing people every day, for all we know!  And that came about simply because we shared our story with Matthew West, and it inspired him to write "Restored"!

I guess we sometimes try to overthink things and sometimes it causes us to miss what's already there!  We need to realize that all the planning and scheming in the world isn't going to further God's plan.  If it's meant to be out there...it will be out there, regardless of our efforts.  Not that we should just sit back and relax and forget about it, but just continue to be willing, and allow ourselves to be a part of it.

It continues to be an amazing journey!

Surprised? Nope!

So I guess it really shouldn't be a surprise when we share our story and people are moved, touched, affected, changed, etc.

Saturday night we went to a local coffee house where our good friend, and singer-songwriter, Ben Horrevoets was performing.  When he plays local, he does our song, "Restored", and gives me the opportunity to share our story.  I always welcome that chance because God wants that story out there, and wants me to tell it everytime I can!
After the show, I was approached by one woman who said she was so glad to hear me share that story because her daughter, who is struggling in her marriage right now, was there, and she saw the effect it had on her.  Then, a guy came up and said how he went through a divorce, and would have loved to have had his relationship restored before that happened.  And at least two other people also talked to me briefly.  Mind you, this was at a coffee house...maybe 25 or so people.

Back in October we went to see Matthew West in concert in Lancaster, Pa.  He brought us up on stage that night to share a quick testimony.  After that show, Cheryl and I were amazed at how many people were lining up to talk to us!  Lining up!

This story needs to be out there.  It needs to be spread to a hurting world.  There is so much destruction happening to marriages all around us.  If our story of hope and restoration can touch a few of those hurting people, if they can see that there is a better way, and that it IS possible to overcome adversity and rebuild, then that is a beautiful thing!

Not sure why I get surprised when we are approached and questioned.  Guess we should never be surprised at the power of God to make something wonderful come out of something that could have been devastating.  And I know he'll continue to do so.

Who's first?

I'm gonna bet that if you've been reading my posts that revolve around my "Restored" marriage, then you probably figure that I put my wife first and make her my primary focus and priority.  Well.....you're wrong! 

In my life and in my marriage I've learned that if I don't make Jesus my first priority, if I don't put God first, then my world is upside down.  It's out of step. It's in the wrong.  It's misdirected.

Jesus said in the gospel of Luke 14:26 "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters --yes, even his own life -- he cannot be my disciple."

Wow!  That's harsh!  But He's not telling us we should hate anyone.  He's using this as a comparison.  Our love for Him should be so complete, so intense, so prioritized, that our love for the people that mean the most to us should not even compare to it!  If we learn to do this, (and believe me, I'm trying!), then our earthly relationships will fall into place and be what they are designed to be!  My marriage will only be successful if I, and my wife, put God first...even above each other.

And, it only makes sense.  God designed marriage.  He tells us the way it is supposed to work.  He gives us instructions to follow to do it right.  The moment we take our eyes off of Him, and put something or someone else above Him, we will go down in flames!  Oh, it may not be apparent right away.  In fact, we may make it look and feel like there's nothing wrong at all!  But, if we become so naive to think we know better than the designer, the author, then we are sadly mistaken, and deceived.

I love my wife!  I love her with an uncomparable, undying love!  It is intense!  But in comparison to the love I have for my God....it should look like hate.  I'm learning that.  It's a process, but I'm learning that.  You should too.

Stuff like this

So, it's funny. Cheryl and I have been passing this note back and forth for a couple months now. We put it somewhere different all the time for each other to find. In Newport this weekend, I came downstairs to talk to the concierge while ...Cheryl was in the shower. I gave her the note and told her when we walk by her on the way out, for her to call Cheryl over, hand her the note and say "This is from your husband". It was awesome! ♥ :)

Cheryl and I always like to show each other how important we are to each other.  How much love we have!  That we are each other's priority!  Little things like this go a long way in any relationship.  Don't forget to be willing to do stuff like this.

Sharing our story

So this Sunday evening, we have the opportuinty and privelege of sharing our story with a group of young married people.  Hopefully, they get something good out of our experience!  Ours' is a dark tale of failure, but, by the grace of God we were brought to our senses, reminded of the way it's supposed to be, and gloriously restored!

I pray that through hearing us talk with honesty and transparency that they can come to a realization that their marriage needs to be in tune with God's plan, and if they stray from that plan....disastrous results could occur!  Believe me!  We know!  We've been there!

In reality, I know that nothing we say....nothing we have experienced...nothing we do...can have ANY impact on anyone without the Spirit of the almighty God reaching through us into those hearts and prompting them toward Himself.  So, that's my prayer.

This is just the beginning of God's ministry to restore marriages through us.  There are so many people hurting.  So many on the verge of falling apart.  So many that have already been destroyed.  And, so many that need to hear this story to prevent them from getting to the point of falling apart. 

Soon (hopefully) we'll have a video to share taken from our "Storytellers Weekend" when we first met Matthew West and heard our song for the first time.  They did an interview with me and it was actually aired on JCTV a division of TBN network in a special about the stories behind the songs.  As soon as we get that, I'll share it on here, along with the song.  Until then....we'll keep on spreading the word of hope and restoration! ☮